Happy New Year ’19

I looked up at the night sky last night with delight. I could see the Milky Way galaxy.

No anxiety this New Year. Every year it gets better.

I looked up at the night sky last night with delight. I could see the Milky Way galaxy.

No anxiety this New Year. Every year it gets better.

Last year, before I went dancing at a bar by myself, I remember driving to Emma’s house and a James Brown song played on the Radio. That was the murderer’s name too.

I yelled, “Fuck you James Brown!”

The image of fear constantly haunted me. I hated him for that. I wish I knew why he wanted to kill me. He fucking damaged my mind for years.

And right when I was screaming and crying my head off on I-35, white flurries began to fall from the sky. It was snowing. That was twice in one week. This never happens in central Texas.

And I couldn’t help but laugh. I laughed and laughed and laughed. This man who haunted me in my nightmares gave me perspective of life and death. He made me realize how grateful I am to be alive.

Still, fuck you.

I havnt’t had any reoccurring nightmares since I saw the snow falling from the sky. It was beautiful. It felt like magic.

I was staring at the Milky Way Galaxy, out here in the desert of West Texas, reflecting on that moment, exactly a year ago.

I danced all night again this year, this time not alone. Greer knows this is the toughest day for me, and she knows I’m scared of New Years Eve. She held my hand and said, “I’m proud of you for conquering your nightmare”We were in the middle of nowhere, freezing our asses off in a desert. I like that. Cause I’ll remember this memory.