I Wish I Could Disappear

It’s been a year now since I’ve been in psychotherapy. It’s been tough. Really tough. It’s so hard to face. But I haven’t missed an appointment yet. So that means I’m trying, right? I don’t want to talk about my struggles. Not here. Just with her, my therapist. I do know one thing, I just want to disappear. I wish I could dissengrate into thin air. Nobody would even know I’m gone. Maybe my boyfriend, maybe my parents. They’ll know if I’m gone.

When will I see the light again? When will I feel a spark in my heart? When will I feel free-spirited? When will I live in the moment? I hope these answers will come. I need them soon. Really soon.