Zuki’s Diary

Since watching Back to the Future in May, synchronicities have been unfolding in my life—so many that I couldn’t begin to write them all down….

I’m sitting here, sobbing in the tiny Guanacaste airport in Liberia, Costa Rica. But these aren’t tears of sadness over a vacation ending. They’re tears…

Empathy is often spoken of as a gift, a sacred ability to feel the emotions of others as if they were one’s own. But true…

In the vast theater of existence, we are often told to manifest our desires—to envision what we want, set intentions, and will our dreams into…

Our love story took us to the breathtaking Azores, a hidden gem in Portugal—a place where nature’s beauty meets mystical serenity. Nestled in the middle…

Throughout my life, the concept of near-death experiences has lingered in my mind, ever since my miracle in 2012, when I had a profound encounter…

As I continue to find myself immersed in a wave of gratitude and reflection. In just a short time, I will embark on one of…

Lately, I’ve been flooded with such immense gratitude that it sometimes swells into a profound sadness. It’s as if the weight of appreciation for every…

I was pulling on my pants today, so mundane, When I spotted something strange, causing me no pain, yet distress. A little invader, a tick…

I imagined all my life how I’d meet my future love, Envisioned the cosmos aligning, the stars up above. Yet the universe had plans that…

It’s been an incredible four-year hiatus since I last truly posted my thoughts onto this blog. Strangely enough, it coincided with the onset of the…

Today marks a poignant juncture in my life—13 years spent in Austin, and an even more encompassing 29 years within the embrace of Texas. An…

You frighten me Because I told myself not to fall When I first laid eyes on you  But my heart is overpowering my mind  And…

Wouldn’t it be nice if our shadows fell in love with each other? They would dance all day. And we would dance all night.

I want somebody who adores my dark side, Just as much as I admire theirs. I think that’s the only way I can truly love…

Tell me the truth. Tell me what you think of me. Under the stars, Under the sea, Under the sheets. And that is how men…

I am staying in the vibrant neighborhood of Bellavista where the Chilean poet Pablo Neruda’s house is located. The buildings are filled with colorful symbolic…

Maestro is drumming and chanting downstairs as Johannes, a German/Peruvian boy, who arrived earlier today is partaking his first ayahuasca ceremony. I can hear the…

Those who are given everything they need, can be blinded by authentic beauty. Those who conquer suffering, are the greatest storytellers. And that to me,…

When I don’t consume alcohol, When I don’t smoke pot, I feel more joy.

My window is opened I wonder how many flies would come in  And how long it would take  Till a friendly funny bird would say…

I went to visit my parents for lunch. I have never had the best relationship with them. But today was different. They listened to my…

I’ve been sobbing silently for many years now. I have constantly felt like I was treading in quicksand. Trapped in my blame. My guilt. My…

Two summers ago, I made the sporadic decision to drive across the country to visit you in Indiana. It feels like yesterday when I saw…

From fire to ash, the vitality of our harmony quickly quivered into hibernation. I implored to see you one day, oh, i wailed while sweating…

Back in Spring of 2013, I had an extraordinary mushroom trip by myself on the couch. I was hanging out with “Past Me” on the…

It was about a week before Christmas 2017. Usually this is the most anxious time of year for me, but my mind was strangely at…

I looked up at the night sky last night with delight. I could see the Milky Way galaxy. No anxiety this New Year. Every year…

I remember my breath  How it made me feel this way  It shaped, bent and turned  my pretty little hands into clay I know that…

I met a woman, her name was Sanyu. She was a 40 year old Ugandan from Pasadena, California. I met her at Lauterstein-Conway Massage School…

My eyes twinkle  when I stare at the glittering glass  of magical blue hues.  The palm of my hand sweats  as my thumb twirls  in…

I’ve been doing pottery for a while and it’s the only thing that is able to quiet my mind.

I had the windows down and threw my head out to feel the winter crisp air. I can see the Gemini Supermoon from above and…

I was hanging out with the Helios Co-Op Crew last night But I ended up drinking with this girl I barely knew I knew of…

New Year’s is the most anxious day of the year for me. I’m always afraid. But, last night, I celebrated and danced all night. Sober….

The sun was rising as Greer and I were viewing the Valles Caldera National Preserve off a cliff, just an hour north of Santa Fe,…

I’m laying on this big rock, right off the Mississippi River. I’m on the land of Missouri and you can see Illinois across the river….

72 hours ago, I was just saying hello to my Granny at her grave in Ft. Wayne, Indiana. I drove to Detroit and picked up…

It’s humbling to be sharing space with a mountain range because you then realize that there are natural formations that have existed on Earth way…

Every moment,  the desert sea surprises me  the euphoric beauty it creates, And it takes more  than an open eye to see it.  It’s a…

I lost sight of you  during twilight.  But you came back  glowing inside  a small crimson fire.  You were a lonley  arrogant rose  but I…

I awoke on my pallet with a dark shadow over my body, suffocating me with its nebulous soulless claws.  It penetrated me down the womb, …

He calls me an idiot. I’m pretty sure he’s joking. But I hear it so much, I’m starting to believe it.

It’s been a year now since I’ve been in psychotherapy. It’s been tough. Really tough. It’s so hard to face. But I haven’t missed an…

Last night, all my friends were in town. I was stoked to see all of them in one room. So happy that I drank way…

He said I looked too Asian. Little did he know these eyes are are Polish.

A couple months ago, I snapped. I realized I’ve been suffering through PTSD and depression. Honestly, I should have been hospitalized that day. But one…

Brighter than sunshine Sweeter than honey It brings luxury and comfort It makes life funny People come to you if you have a lot People…

Hang out with me in front of the world Deep island unwind, through the body over time Complex with exhaust, The aroma of puget lime…

My mom said to be a proud Okinawan. Help me. Cause I don’t know how.

I could taste your ambition I can see your identity I want to touch your charisma Like a lonely vortex spiraling Barricades came rolling in…

I’m back from Chicago. I thought of breaking up. But he threatened to kill himself today. Fuck. I don’t know what to do. This is…

Last week, I suffered from food poisoning for 9 days in New York City. I should have went to the hospital sooner. But I was…

I was strolling through St. Mark’s Place in New York City. A man told me I looked familiar. I looked at him and asked, “Ohhh!…

Girls, all they want are diamonds They are not in love

I started to take improv classes at a cute coffeeshop on Congress. I need to be less gloomy. And interact with an older crowd. I’m…

Drinking beer on my neighbors lawn Something so alluring Chatting into dawn So unfettered and so free Catching in her netting Yearn to know the…

Sunrise on an open mind Sunset on an empty stomach I want to throw your voice in the air Go play in the woods Theres…

This past month has been insane. I feel like i’ve been living a nightmare. I don’t know if I can explain anything in detail. Too…

Not only do I feel alone, I feel lonely. He’s not here right now. I’m packing my belongings and not looking back. It’s been one…

Today, I saw an old couple holding hands. And they smiled. I loved the way they still craved another’s touch. It made me smile.

I only have $46 in my bank account.  I bought a $19 Greyhound ticket to Austin from San Antonio.  You dropped me off at the…

A couple weeks ago, a gunman opened fire at the library at UT Austin. I was really tired and, I skipped PT that morning. I…

I threw a book in a washing machine the other day. It destroyed all my clothes. Because of my stupidity, I met my roommate. We…

He had me at “Merhaba” I would tiptoe out of my hostel bunk, trying not to wake up my roommate. Gahh, she was annoying. She…